As I was driving home from work two days ago, an image of a nice cup of delicious Cadbury’s hot choc crept into my mind. So I decided that was what I was going to have as soon as I got home.
Walked into the room, dropped all my stuff, and pulled the curtain back. But it got stuck.
Naturally, I pulled up the chair nearby and heaved my more-than-generous mass up to fix the curtain. Not a second later I heard a slight crack, looked down, and as I shrieked like a little girl and arms flailing about, both my feet went through the chair. An excruciating sensation immediately ensued. Grateful that this whole episode happened within the confines of my private room, I pulled my self up and tried release myself from the wrecked chair. But as I did so, I felt more pain. Apparently the screws from the broken piece had sunk themselves into my right foot and my attempt to simply pull it out only drove them deeper. Ouch.
It was only after some clever manoevering (spelling?) that I managed to free myself from the clutches of death, if with a wounded leg and bruised ego.
Had this mishap had taken place in front of my aunts or grans, at this point I’d be the target of their uninvited comments and smug speculations as to why I’d fallen- “kepunan!” – a misfortune that befalls you because you didn’t eat or drink something you’d been wishing for or had been offered… The whole event would have been complemented with a generous serving of “Penyaram!”, “Bilak mato!”, “Baru ju tau!”, “Kinyam!” – expressions devoid of much-required sympathy all meaning “serves you right!” – at which point I’d assume the foetal position and roll into a ball of self-pity and die.
So – imagine my relief my aunts didn’t have the honour of witnessing this unceremonious plunge.
I should have been more careful. Or perhaps I should have gone straight into the kitchen and had that Hot chocolate I’d been craving for and averted the supposed screwdriver-wielding evil spirits who loosened the screws in the chair.
Either way, it’s happened. But rather than “kepunan”, I think it happened because my university didn’t teach me not to use this chair to lift myself up to fix things.