Durian lagi…

A couple of days ago, Dad said he’d brought home some durian monthong from our fruit orchard whose location I’ve yet to set foot on, or know of even. Apparently this is the first time the durian trees he planted years ago has borne fruit. Of course, the very mention of ‘durian’ was music to my ears!

So like a moth to a flame I floated gracefully to the kitchen, suddenly finding space in my already bloated stomach for some durian-ey dessert despite having just declared I was stuffed from a rather generous sungkai.

Someone told me thorns were the latest trend in footwear fashion. Fitting for Raya, no?

Someone told me thorns were the latest trend in footwear fashion. Fitting for Raya, no?

Here’s what I found – A ginormous chunk of thorny goodness!! Not one, not two, but 7 of them!

Wow, basar biginya!!

Wow, basar biginya!!

For the ignorant amongst you, the weapon of choice when battling the King of Fruit is a giant cleaver as in pic. (This is what they use in the Hua Ho fruit section as well as in most other durian stalls).

Now, I’ve always considered myself to be a connoisseur of durian of sorts, and also an expert in ‘opening’ the fruit. The trick is this- the durian has natural seams between its (usually) five sections that converges at the bottom of the fruit. All you need to do is pierce into the seam, and prise the two ‘satars’ apart. A ripe durian would easily give way along the natural partition. Easy, right??

Compare Dad’s efforts:


to mine:


Dad was speechless. I couldn’t quite tell if it was from sheer amazement and fatherly pride at my skillful cleaver-handling exercise, or from utter horror and shame at the destruction that had just unfolded right before his now teary eyes. Although I suspect it’s the latter, I’d err on optimism that he was rather mightily impressed with my achievement.

I may have disembowelled the durian in a manner that would put the Yorkshire Ripper to shame, but at least I got these little buggers out…


Oh the joy!!!

But sometimes I do wonder if the directions to the orchard that dad gave me were deliberately cryptic and hard to read. Can’t imagine why he’d do it though…


10 responses

  1. I LOLd when I found myself distracted by the sight of the scar from your legendary fall!! Haha.

    but besides that i’m mighty jealous you have a secret orchard.

    • First again, Fiz. I do wonder if you’re actually studying in Lancaster sana… Anyway, yes, didn’t think anyone would notice the scar on my pasty foot… It’s actually still very raw-looking and red. Scarred for life me!

      • secret garden alright… I dont even know where it is. I know there’s one in Sinaut somewhere, one in Santol somewhere and another one… maybe i’d just be a liability if I found out where it was.

  2. Hi Gembo. My excuse is that kulitnya tabal and still very green and karas. In fact my dad didn’t think it was masak di dalam and needed to param lagi… but aku mati akal liat durian, nothing was going to stop me, hence the annihilation that you see… tepaksa ku chop sikit2 and lakap… definitely easier to buy packed ones from Huaho.. boleh lagi makan sambil driving…

  3. tu lah enko benny… dulu kecik tak nak mampos… sekarang kan menyusahkan diri sendiri pi dok kat Kg. Peterborough. Tapi takpe, kan dah ada hero bollywood nko dah. Ko gi any Chinese shop sana pun ada jual durian ni lah.. but maybe for 50 quid sebijik, siap taruk dalam freezer lagi. Alternatively ko renung lah gambo ni jer. hehe Selamat hari raya ek!!

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