The Durian Dilemma

Here’s a problem I often face.

I walk into the kitchen, and see this:

Do I fend off the spiky evil? Of course not. Not at 2.30 in the morning.
So, maybe I’ll have just a little bit, and tinggalkan the rest for whoever yang punya this durian.

So really I should just have sesatar saja, and leave the other satars for erm other people (“anak nyipo” as my mum calls ’em), say this much only:

But that’s just impossible, you can’t just have one satar of durian cos there are always two sides to it.

And mum’s always said makanan yang nda kena makan will cry at night coz they’ve been wasted. Likewise I recall my Darjah 3 ugama teacher, in her attempt to reinforce my ‘muslim guilt’, saying wasted food will get their revenge. In my fertile imagination that conjured images of little beads of rice chomping away at my head while I slept, only for me to wake up in the morning with half a head, and much less of a whole brain. So the same guilt ate away inside of me now. In this case, little lumps of custardy durian kuning could replace my entire brain and I’d wake up unable to process the tiniest bit of information, but still able to emit funky smells. Oh the horror. So I couldn’t possibly leave that other satar of durian already exposed and uneaten, could I?

Again, of course not. Nor could I leave the other satars of durian. Burp!

The aftermath

But at least there were still a few more of them in my mum’s not-so-secret stash for her “anak nyipo”:

...although I suspect that one on the right is the illegimate son of the durian and a stripey tiger. But it could just be a little brush.

So here’s my conclusion: it is not possible to have just one satar of durian. Problem solved.


7 responses

  1. Salam bro
    Your posts on durians are always so hilarious! Didn’t know you have such an appetite πŸ˜› …. age kali hahahah

    Pardon me but here’s wishing my big ‘bro’ a happy and blessed birthday today, you’ve achieved today what most people could only dream of, and I pray for more successes for you bro.

    You take care and enjoy life (I don’t think you need reminding for the latter hahah).

    Jimi @ Gembo

    • Dear Bro Jimi, glad you liked the post. Entah what’s with me and durian ani..? I just love em! Tapi nda jua luan tabarus lah, pandai jua menulak heheh Thanks for the bday wish and prayers, Alhamdulillah, mudahan sama-sama we all have greater success in life-amin. It’s coming to 20 yrs now mate, I really appreciate your friendship. ok group hug, group hug… haha And believe or not, I still have the tapes!! I’ll prove it to ya!! haha :p

  2. Oh! ur birthday kah! Happy birthday! U deserve that whole durian then!
    PS. Don’t blame u 1 bit. Aku damam batuk tekuhul2 ani pun, mau jua lagi kan makan durian putih…my mom tekajut ku punduk2 dilantai makan durian, I sed, alang2 damam, hantam sajalah….baik jua ada mc dari doktoi! LOL! *durian burp*
    PPS. Makan durian after sungkai tu ahhhh….sampai sikit lagi inda sampat semayg…astaaahhh….

    • Thanks for the greeting and for reading! much appreciated. I love all durian, but ure right, some pseudo-durian products like bingka or custard are a lot of times ‘essence’ saja- me no likey. gimme the real stuff anyday!

  3. Salam & Selamat berpuasa! Thanks! That batch of durian atu my dad bali di Jerudong bawah jambatan I think. Cos I remember my sister asking him that. But bali durian ani ikut nasib lah jua I guess walaupun the seller gtau ia lunak, complete dengan display lagi tu, tapi bila disuruh mbuka contoh yang baru pandai ia bepaluh-paluh! Look for durian yang ‘full bodied’ usulnya, and spikes are tajam and erect lakat, and the tampuk (yang tangkainya atu) not too brown or layu. atu guide sajalah, insyaAllah ok. Kalau rajin, go along jalan Lamunin, ada urg bejual siring jalan. But u can wait for Thursday am for Tutong tamu jua. Not sure about gerai ramadan now, alum sampai ke sana, but maybe ada jua urg bejual kibidek. πŸ™‚

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