Early this year I decided to chop off this Mango tree because it was half-dead anyway from termite infestation (Tree-huggers, relax). But I thought I’d be more creative than to simply lob off the trunks, and give the tree a post-humous function. I recall my school-leaver primary school Science teacher saying if you peel off the bark around the main trunk of a tree, its water and food supply would be cut off and it would die eventually. So this I did with this mango tree, as I’d decided to fix it canopy over the dead trunk and turn it into a useful hut. Everything seemed to work the way I imagined they would… Until I visited the beach house again this week after 2 months’ absence … only to be confronted by this monstrosity. To my horror, the bloody tree had continued to grow beneath the canopy! Never have I felt utter failure before! When I first set my eyes on it, I thought Lady Gaga had descended upon me!
So my science education obviously didn’t work. And this was not my finest hour. And for this to be witnessed by a few friends I’d been hoping to impress was not what I had had in mind.
Lady Gaga undressed.